This week is all about self-compassion.

When building a business, there is so much uncertainty and unpredictability. It is not a linear process and often we can find ourselves feeling like we are not making progress in the way that we want. A lot of the time things don’t go to plan, and we need to adjust and adapt to new situations constantly within our lives and business. In these moments of change, we need to cultivate a practice of self-compassion.

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself at this moment?

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, whoever said you were supposed to be perfect?

You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honour and accept your humanness.

Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.

Source: https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

3 Elements of self-compassion

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation

Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes. All humans suffer, however. The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification

Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. It also stems from the willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.  At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

Source: https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

BENEFITS OF SELF-COMPASSION

Research shows that self-compassion has many benefits, ranging from fewer depressive and more optimistic thoughts, overall greater happiness and life satisfaction to greater social and emotional skills and improvements in physical health. Specifically, some positive effects noted by studies are:

• It increases motivation.

• It boosts happiness.

• It improves body image.

• It enhances self-worth.

• It fosters resilience.

• It reduces mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and stress.

Source:https://thebestbrainpossible.com/the-benefits-of-self-compassion-and-how-to-get-more/

TIPS TO PRACTICE self-compassion

• Treat Yourself as You’d Treat a Friend

  Let yourself make mistakes. Self-kindness and common humanity tap into two separate but related ideas: “We’re human. But a) so is everybody else, and b) that’s okay.” Rather than interpreting our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours as who we are, we can let ourselves off the hook when we might do the same for others.

• Becoming More Self-Aware

  Try self-acceptance. This means embracing your own perceived shortcomings as well as your character strengths. Self-compassion is about not over-inflating these shortcomings into a definition of who we are—rather, thoughts and feelings are behaviours and states

• (Re)Gaining Perspective

  Let go of the need for outside validation. If we’re beating ourselves up for eating something, for instance, a lot of that self-directed anger stems from social pressures, like the pressure to look a certain way or maintain a certain weight. Choosing not to tie our happiness to outside influences can thus be an act of self-kindness with a much larger knock-on effect.

• Using Affirmations to Challenge Your Inner Critic

  Practising affirmations can also be useful if you’re hoping to replace the negative self-talk we referred to earlier with more self-kindness. Our (often habitual) tendencies to blame, criticize, or put ourselves down can’t be changed unless we try to catch ourselves in the act, and only then can we reframe them.

Source: https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/

It’s good to practice self-compassion in all areas of our lives. It will help us grow and enjoy the process of trying new and challenging things.

week 31 book

Our book inspiration this week is Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff.

Kristin Neff PhD is a professor in educational psychology and the world's expert on self-compassion. A pioneer who established self-compassion as a field of study, Kristin offers a powerful solution for combating negativity and insecurity - the symptoms of living in a high-pressure world.

WEEK 31 PODCAST

Our podcast inspiration is Feel Better, Live More hosted by Dr Chatterjee.

In this podcast, we hear stories from leading health experts and exciting personalities who offer easy health life-hacks, expert advice and debunk common health myths giving you the tools to revolutionise how you eat, sleep, move and relax.